Introversion

The training is fun and interesting, but I am on the road to alienating myself from my classmates.  A group of people all with a strong sense of self-entitlement, high self-esteem without merit, low economic status, minimal education, history of violence, poor decision making, and access to sharp objects creates an environment not entirely different from a prison yard. 

I am especially looking forward to getting to theory in chemistry and biology because I secretly hope a lot of people will drop out.  The more, the better.  More drop-outs just means less people I have to protect myself from.  I have not developed any opinions about any of the instructors.  They are as reserved and withdrawn as myself.  I can only assume this barrier is a method to protect themselves against their own students.

My normally positive attitude is being tested.  My primary goal to reserve judgment has been abandoned.  The anxiety associated with lack of trust is shifting my quiet and reserved nature into overdrive, making it even harder to make friends.  I need to find that one person that I can make eye contact with when crazy happens.  Not that I hate anyone.  I really like bunnies, but I'm not going to put my fingers anywhere near those teeth.  That would just be stupid. 

I doubt that my introversion will negatively affect relationship-building with clients in the future.  Engaging the client should be as easy as asking questions about and listening to the client the entire time while offering no personal information.  After all, everyone's favorite subject is them self.  I have no negative feelings about this arrangement.  Like a shampoo, this type of interaction is just part of the salon service.  This method has served me well when it comes to creating superficial friendships, but it's not going to be enough.  We spend almost 40 hrs/wk together.  It's only a matter of time before my classmates pick up on this and realize that our individual relationships have been shallow this entire time.